


Werewolf Jackass

by Ravenclaw1991



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclaw1991/pseuds/Ravenclaw1991
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott and Stiles abuse their werewolf powers to do crazy shit and make quite the following on the internet. Also, Isaac is their camera guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Werewolf Jackass

**Author's Note:**

> Took a break from the current WIP to write this. I saw something and it made me think of this and I had to write it down. Its so stupid, but I hope you find it funny at least. I was so tired when I wrote the first half and I reread it and decided to keep going after I was fully awake. 
> 
> Stiles is a werewolf for the sole reason of having the healing. I can't have him doing this crazy stuff with Scott and get too injured.

It all started out as a joke. Late one night, Scott, Stiles, and Isaac all stayed up extremely late, hyped up on sugar and who knew what else. A ton of shows with people doing stupid things came on MTV and they ended up watching them.  _Jackass_ ,  _Fantasy Factory_ ,  _Ridiculousness_ and others. 

In the show they were watching, the people were riding skateboards and bicycles off of a roof and the three boys were howling in laughter at it.

"Dude, imagine doing that as a werewolf. I bet there's nothing to it," Scott gasped in between laughs.

"I dare you to," Stiles said seriously after he calmed down.

"Dare me to what?"

"Ride your skateboard off of the roof," Stiles clarified. "Like, right now."

"Stiles, its four-thirty in the morning," Isaac pointed out.

"So?"

Isaac grumbled about not taking part in it directly. That didn't mean he wouldn't watch. No one could blame the poor guy. He'd had enough pain inflicted on him for two or three lifetimes.

Five minutes later, Stiles and Isaac were standing in the moonlight in Scott's backyard. Scott was on the roof, one foot on his skateboard. Stiles held up fingers to count down and when he put down his final finger, Scott put his other foot on the board. 

It went rather smoothly until he got the front wheels hung in the gutter. Scott went flying head first off of the roof. His arms were flapping wildly as plummeted toward the ground. Scott slammed face first into the ground and probably slid a little in the damp grass.

"Dude, you alright?" Stiles asked, running over with Isaac in tow. 

Scott didn't respond at first. He rolled over onto his back and groaned. His clothes were covered in grass and mud. A trickle of blood was escaping from his nose.

"That was awesome," he managed.

"You should do something equally stupid, Stiles," Isaac spoke up. "Its only fair."

Stiles shrugged and turned to Scott who had moved to a sitting position. "What should I do?"

Scott grinned and pointed to the bike propped against the side of the house. 

It took a bit of work, but they got the bike onto the room. Stiles was seated on the bike and started rolling the moment he lifted his feet onto the peddles. He rolled over the edge, managing to  _not_  do a nose dive by leaning back. The bike landed flat on the ground with both tires and bounced almost throwing him off.

Isaac started laughing really hard when Stiles slipped off of the bike and grabbed his butt. 

"What's the matter, Stiles?" Scott asked, amused.

"The seat went up my butt!" 

"Take a look at your face!" Isaac choked out. 

He held his phone out for Stiles to look at. The quality wasn't good because of the lighting but you could clearly see the pained expression on Stiles' face when he landed on the ground. 

And that's how it began.

 

* * *

 

Stiles began formulated the most insane and stupid plans in the history of ever. Scott review the list and liked most of them. Some he had to be talked into. 

A couple of days later, found Scott and Stiles stealing shopping carts from a grocery store. Isaac followed them as they headed for the largest hill in all of Beacon Hills. The 'Nightmare on Elm Street' as Stiles so eloquently put it. That should be the actual name for it since it happened to be on Elm Street and every kid on that side of town rode something down it at least once. It was pretty scary. 

"You guys sure about this?" Isaac asked hesitantly. 

"Yep," both Scott and Stiles replied. 

Isaac figured something good might as well come of it. He pulled out his phone to film the disaster that was about to happen. 

The two boys hoped into the carts in one swift movement each. The ground was quite flat where they were at the moment, so they were able to get settled. Isaac talked them into at least wearing helmets because werewolf healing or not, massive brain damage would probably be permanent. 

"Ready?" Scott asked.

Stiles nodded. "Three, two, one, GO!"

They inched themselves toward the drop and the looks on their faces told they immediately regretted it as they started jetting down the hill.

Isaac remained at the top recording it. He watched as the two of them miraculously made it to the bottom without flipping on the way down. He could hear Stiles' screams still. 

Unfortunately for them, there was no way to break and the road ended in a T-intersection. There was no traffic coming and there was no way for them to turn the corners so they plowed into the curb at the bottom.

The carts flipped the moment they slammed into the curb sending both of them flying through the air several feet. The wind was knocked out of them and they couldn't do anything, not even when Isaac turned up. The shopping carts ended up being two twisted heaps of metal, needless to say, the grocery store wouldn't be wanting them back.

"Uggggggggh," Stiles moaned as he tried and failed to sit up.

"Do you regret it?" Isaac asked.

"A bit," Scott groaned. 

"Excellent."

 

* * *

 

"Guys, guys, you've got to see this!" Isaac yelled running up to them the following morning. 

He held out his phone and the two of them were forced to watch what they did the day before.

"You filmed us?" Stiles demanded.

"And put it on YouTube??" Scott raged.

"Yeah, but that's not the best bit! Look at the views."

They both squinted and saw what he was talking about.

"One hundred and sixty-seven thousand views... Over night?" Stiles asked in awe.

Isaac nodded. "Several of the comments are people wondering which of the two of you was doing the screaming though."

"I wasn't  _screaming_!" Stiles exclaimed.

"Yes you were," Isaac and Scott said at the same time. 

 

* * *

 

Isaac continued to film them. Their escapades ranged from  _stupid_  to  _extremely-but-not-quite-deadly stupid_. They picked up ideas online too. They threw darts and hunks of cactus at each other. Both squealed like pigs when hit. 

The videos grew in popularity. Even a few kids from school high-fived them in the hall. Their first one was almost at one million views. 

During the middle of a thunderstorm, the three boys stayed in and watched tv. An extremely corny werewolf movie from the 80s was on. 

" _Teen Wolf_ ," Stiles scoffed. "What a stupid name!" 

But they watched and laughed anyway. When they saw the part were they did the van surfing, Scott and Stiles' eyes lit up and they turned to grin at each other.. The real Scott and Stiles, not the Scott and Stiles in the movie.

The following day, they went for it. Stiles wasn't sure the jeep's roof would hold their weight, but Scott tested it and it did.

Stiles went first with Scott driving. Isaac rode along beside the jeep on Scott's motorbike managing to hold up his phone and film while steering. Stiles fell off of the jeep and totally bruised his ass. As evidenced when he mooned the camera before it started healing. 

Scott's balance was better but they still had trouble. They made it halfway down the road they were on when a sheriff's car turned the corner at the end of the road.

"Shit! Its the po-po," Stiles shouted and he slowed so Scott wouldn't fall off.

It turned out to be Sheriff Stilinski. He put on the flashing lights and sounded the siren quickly before stopping and climbing out. He was livid.

"SCOTT! STILES!" he shouted. "What in the hell are you thinking?"

Isaac took that as his cue to stop filming.

"Dad-"

"No, don't 'dad' me. I know with this werewolf crap, you can't get hurt too much, but other people can see you. Someone called the cops and said three boys were doing something stupid in a jeep. I knew exactly who it was and took the call myself."

"Sorry," Scott mumbled. 

"Yeah, you better be. Now get your asses in that jeep and drive home. Don't let me catch you out here again for the rest of the day. And if I catch you doing something stupid like this again, I will arrest you and throw you in jail for the night as a punishment. That goes for Isaac too."

With that, Sheriff Stilinski climbed into his car and gave the three teens the stink eye before driving away. 

 

* * *

 

"We're kind of gaining a following with the videos," Isaac announced after they had two videos surpass one million views. 

"We need a name," Stiles said thoughtfully. "That way people won't just call of those dumb ass teens." The other two remained silent and thoughtful. "Werewolf Jackass!" 

That earned him two eyerolls. "Stiles, we can't call ourselves that. It'll tell the world that we're werewolves," Scott told him.

Stiles sighed. "Fine. How about 'Teen Jackass?'" 

"Isn't 'Jackass' copyrighted?" Isaac inquired.

They shrugged that off. 

 

* * *

 

They had chipped in and had Isaac buy them an actual camera and a tripod. This meant they could talk him into helping them. He still didn't want to go through the physical torture they put themselves through, so he inflicted the pain.

Their next stunt, the first being filmed with their new camera, involved lacrosse balls. It was similar to what Stiles and Scott had done before except Scott wasn't the only taking balls to the face. 

Isaac tied them to the chain-link fence in Stiles' backyard. The twist was that, in true  _Jackass_  fashion, they were in nothing but underwear. Their arms and legs were tied so that their bodies formed an X against the fence.

"You two sure about this?" Isaac asked before turning on the camera. 

Stiles hesitated before he confirmed that he was sure. Scott nodded in confirmation. 

Once the camera was on, Isaac loaded a ball in his crosse and launched it at the fence. He missed on purpose causing the ball to hit the fence between them. Both of his friends flinched hard.

"Still sure?" They nodded. "Alright, real shot, coming up."

They agreed on no aimed nut shots. It was bound to happen, but as long as Isaac wasn't actually aiming for one, it was fair game.

The first aim hit Stiles in the forehead causing him to swear loudly. Scott was then hit in the throat and made a choking noise. Isaac yelled an apology for that one. 

There were roughly twenty balls in the bucket Isaac was pulling them from. Scott and Stiles had learned how to control the healing so it didn't look suspicious on camera. People would accuse it of being fake if the bruises were gone before Isaac did a close up inspection with the camera. 

Scott was hit in the nuts once, Stiles was hit twice. Between the two of them, they had bruises all over their chests and stomachs. Scott had a gnarly shoulder bruise and Stiles at a nasty one on his thigh.

As soon as the camera was off, they stopped holding back the healing. Both of them collapsed on the ground as soon as Isaac untied them. They were scared they'd break the fence if they broke loose on their own.

 

* * *

 

Scott's mom bought him a new desk chair for his bedroom one day. It was a great day. 

"Why don't we put the old one to good use," Scott suggested. 

With a heavy duty rope, Stiles tied the chair the back of his jeep. There was a quick game of rock paper scissors to see who got to go first. Stiles won. 

Scott frowned but climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. Isaac climbed into the back and pushed the back window up. He started the camera and Stiles gave it a thumbs up before yelling at Scott to go.

Stiles flipped out of the chair and scraped himself up a couple of times, but he climbed right back on each time. Miraculously the chair held up. They managed to drive up and down that particular stretch of road with Stiles being pulled in the chair behind the jeep two times before a car with _Beacon County Sheriff's Department_ written on the side turned the corner with the lights flashing.

"Its the po-po again," Stiles whined. 

"DAMN IT! I didn't even get a go," Scott complained.

A voice sounded from a megaphone in the car. "Stiles, climb off of the chair. You two, slowly exit the vehicle, hands in the air."

Isaac hid his the camera in a lacrosse dufflebag in the back before climbing out. Scott was grumbling about not getting his turn as they all raised their hands.

Deputy Parrish climbed out of his car. He looked about ready to die laughing. He managed to compose himself and order them to their knees. Stiles bit back an inappropriate joke. 

"Sorry about this boys," he said, not sounding sorry at all. "Sheriff's orders." 

He cuffed all three of them and shoved them into the back of his car. They could've run, but Stiles' dad would've been madder. Once they were shut in the car, Parrish took care of the jeep, which is something cops never do when arresting someone. He grabbed the keys, shut the windows, and even placed the beat up chair in the back before shutting it up and locking it. 

Parrish climbed into the car and turned to the three teenagers in the backseat. He gave them a smile. "You have the right to remain silent...."

Sheriff Stilinski wasn't there when they arrived at the station. Parrish handcuffed the three of them to a bench for all of the deputies to walk by and jeer at them. The sheriff clearly had the whole station in on this. 

"We could break and make a run for it," Isaac whispered. 

Stiles and Scott shook their heads. "No," Stiles said. "I think my dad is expecting that. We're going to stick this out. We're not actually being charged, so what's the harm?"

"Uh, spending a night in jail for your dad's amusement," Isaac bit back. "That's the harm."

Scott, lucky, lucky Scott, was stuck in between the two bickering friends. It wasn't heated bickering though, so that was a good thing.

Stiles' dad arrived with a big grin on his face. "Told you this would happen if you were caught again."

As a couple of deputies led them to a cell, Stiles shouted, "I DEMAND TO SEE MY LAWYER!"

Every deputy in the station cracked up. 

The three of them were shoved in the same cell without a word and then were left alone. The single cell made sense because Beacon Hills' sheriff station didn't have that many cells and one of them was already occupied with a drug dealer. 

After an hour in there, Isaac loudly moaned, "I've got to pee."

"Then pee," Scott snorted pointing at the metal toilet in the corner. 

"I'm not peeing in front of Stiles."

Stiles huffed. "So that means you'd totally pee in front of Scott?"

"Scott's sexuality isn't questionable," Isaac bit back.

"You don't have anything I want to see," Stiles scoffed. 

"SHUT UP!" the drug dealer yelled from the next cell. 

"You shut up, at least we aren't in here for drugs," Stiles shouted at him.

Being forced into close quarters with no escape cause Stiles and Isaac to bicker and it was driving Scott insane. Isaac held his pee as long as possible until it was no longer an option. It was either the toilet or his pants.

He and Stiles were arguing about who would squeeze onto the cot with Scott that night when the sheriff showed up.

"Dad, let us out! Please."

"No. I just came by to tell you that you're going to be in there until noon tomorrow. Since you aren't real inmates, Parrish is going to Burger King to get you guys dinner later. Melissa has been informed of the situation and has agreed you deserve this."

"We have the right to a phone call!" Stiles cried. 

"Son, who exactly would you call?" Stiles didn't have an answer which caused Isaac to laugh. "You have the right to one visitor each, I'm sure you'll enjoy that."

Sure enough, a little while later, a deputy led their visitors in. Allison, Kira, and Lydia. 

Allison reached through the bars and thumped Isaac on the head. Kira shook her head at Scott in exasperation. Lydia, however, was amused. 

"I'm acting as your lawyer," she told them professionally. "Your case has been reviewed and I've come up with a plea for each of you."

"Um, Lydia, you do know we're not being charged right?" Scott pointed out.

"Duh, it was a joke" she said with an eyeroll. 

The visit was torture because the girls did nothing but reprimand their stupidity. 

Technically the cell was open on all sides, but by late that evening Isaac's claustrophobia was setting in. He was extra pissy, just not enough to rip a head off. Scott tried to talk him down but Stiles provoked him further in irritation.

By the time they finished eating their dinner, provided by Deputy Parrish, (the druggie in the next cell was drooling over the smell of non-jail food), Isaac and Stiles were at one another's throats again. Literally. Isaac had Stiles shoved against the bars with his hand around his throat. Scott was trying to break them up.

"STOP IT!" he shouted. 

Scott was so tired of their shit that he made both of them sleep in the floor that night. A deputy was nice enough to bring blankets and pillows.

Sheriff Stilinski handed them breakfast from McDonald's early the next morning. Scott spent his time trying to keep Isaac and Stiles apart until they were out of there. 

After what seemed like forever, the sheriff returned and opened the door. "You're free to go."

The three of them ran the sheriff down getting out of them. 

"What about me?" the drug dealer asked.

"Shut up, Mr. Jones," the sheriff said kindly.

The deputies were snickering at the three teenagers when they burst through the door.

"I need a shower," Stiles whined.

"Screw that, I need sunshine," Scott blurted out. 

"I need a real bathroom," Isaac said.

The sheriff came up behind them. "Have you learned your lesson? Are you going to do something stupid like that again?"

Stiles stared at his dad. "Can't promise that, we'll always do stupid stuff."

Sheriff Stilinski rolled his eyes and nodded. "At least try to keep it off the streets," he muttered to them. "The jeep is outside. The rope and the chair are gone so you won't be tempted again." He tossed Stiles his keys.

When they were in the jeep, Stiles turned to Isaac and said, "sorry about in the cell. I, uh, I don't like being restrained in anyway. Even being grounded as a kid drove me insane."

Isaac waved his apology away. "Its cool. The close proximity was messing with me too."

That afternoon they were back at it again. Isaac filmed them in the playground at the park doing stupid things. Such as riding bicycles and skateboards down the slide. And using werewolf strength (which wasn't really obvious on camera) to spin each other on the merry-go-round. 

The first broken bone happened when they sought out an abandoned warehouse. They found one that they'd never been in before and climbed the metal rafters and made it into indoor amusement park. Using old chains and wooden platforms, they used their imaginations (and Stiles' genius) and crafted an obstacle course. They had 'vines' to swing from like Tarzan and precarious swinging platforms. 

One of the wooden platforms they used was rotten and Stiles, of course it would be Stiles, swung on a chain and landed on it. It immediately collapsed. He fell fifteen feet and landed on his arm. Scott and Isaac heard the snap when it happened. Stiles spent ten minutes rolling around on the floor crying in pain for good reason. Scott insured that it was alright and they called it a day to allow Stiles' arm to heal. 

"Maybe making these videos wasn't such a good idea," Stiles whimpered, cradling his arm.

"Do you want to stop?" Scott asked.

"Nope. Never."


End file.
